The Husband of a doula

If you are reading this, you are probably wondering why in the world would this “DUDE” write a blog post on a website that is for pregnant women?

Well, me too… What guy in his right mind would want to discuss pregnancy, childbirth, hormones… Constant cravings, mood swings, breast pumps… Engorged breasts, placentas, and what the heck is a mucus plug??? It just keeps going… Maybe another dude might benefit from this? All this pregnancy talk makes me want to go to my shop, turn on some classic country music, reorganize the dumb thing for the 10th time this year, and still not get rid of bucket of junk bolts. I might need that later!

But in all seriousness, just as a doula supports a mother in birth, I support my wife in her passion. Sure, we all get annoyed by our spouse and their passions. But she has to hear my constant ramblings about construction, guns, and trucks and I am sure that bugs the crap out of her. It goes both ways; however, our passions are important and we support one another. She has gotten me through some stuff. [Redacted dumb stories…]

Her journey to becoming a doula to support moms has been a passion since our first son Wyatt was born. She wanted a natural birth with support from me. Now we didn’t have a doula with our two kids but looking back at what a doula could do I wish I would have known more, believed her. I would have spared no cost. A mother’s helper but also a spouse’s helper. We all can use that extra help whether we think so or not. Lord knows I needed some extra help during the first 9 months as my boy cried constantly…

I had no idea how much a doula added until she taught me the value.

For guys it’s like that bucket in your shop that is full of junk-nuts, bolts, springs, a zip-tie or 7… You don’t know what to do with all that stuff or what you will ever do with it in this lifetime, but you got it. Because in a pinch you were glad you had that stupid bucket with that thing-a-ma-jig.

What have I learned? What can I share? She is going to kill me for posting this, but she is that missing part in that bucket you didn’t know you needed.

A doula is not a doctor or nurse they are support for you! She going to show up and stay with you for as long as you need. She is going to help you through your birth journey. She takes the time before the baby comes to get to know you and your family (She’s a sucker for your animals too). She will help you with a birth plan, listen to you, and support whatever needs you may have along the way. Even after birth she comes to you. Typically, with some fresh eggs, a homemade baked good, or coffee. Prenatal care, birth support, postpartum care she is along for the ride.

Now what about the spouse… Mom’s too but this is MY point of view for the “innocent bystander” (Yes, Sarcasm!) We support each other remember… I can speak from experience. Been there, done that. I didn’t have a doula. Wish we did.

Do you think your baby mama is going to let you leave her side? “Insert Doula”. Hip squeezes, foot rubs, and laps to the ice machine can be an Olympic sport. She trains for this. She is going to keep an eye on you too. If you need encouragement, a moment to sit down because you are about to go down from seeing that part of the body you never thought you would see (yep), or 10 minutes of shut eye just to keep going she is there. Sometimes that mother-in-law just won’t cut it. Yep, I said it! She’s got you too.

So, what do I do? I support her. No matter where her passion for mom’s and their birth journey takes her. Homebirth, Hospital, or Birth Center. She runs from San Antonio to Spring Branch, New Braunfels to Kerrville, and Bulverde to Fredericksburg and I keep the home fires burning. Our kids, homeschool, mini farm, and lives are all included. You may benefit from the eggs from our chickens, the homeschool family picking up a carpool, or a Doula Husband getting her back up on her feet after 17+ hours of being on her feet. She does it because she is passionate about what she does, and I Love Her.